Comments on: Trying to step up http://sararyan.com/2008/05/trying-to-step-up/ Novelist, comics writer, and librarian based in Portland, Oregon. Fri, 05 Dec 2008 01:52:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Mim http://sararyan.com/2008/05/trying-to-step-up/#comment-4949 Mim Fri, 23 May 2008 03:26:40 +0000 http://sararyan.com/?p=625#comment-4949 My brother once said he finds that the mark of a truly intelligent person, to not be afraid to say "What does that word mean?" or "Who was that historical figure you just mentioned?" because they re smart enough to be secure in their intelligence and not feel they have anything to prove by not asking a "dumb" question. For some reason, that always stuck with me. And I think even the smartest most book-learned amongst us have the occasional weird black hole in our knowledge. My brother once said he finds that the mark of a truly intelligent person, to not be afraid to say “What does that word mean?” or “Who was that historical figure you just mentioned?” because they re smart enough to be secure in their intelligence and not feel they have anything to prove by not asking a “dumb” question. For some reason, that always stuck with me. And I think even the smartest most book-learned amongst us have the occasional weird black hole in our knowledge.

]]> By: Dylan Meconis http://sararyan.com/2008/05/trying-to-step-up/#comment-4928 Dylan Meconis Tue, 20 May 2008 19:11:09 +0000 http://sararyan.com/?p=625#comment-4928 I'm slowly learning that one, too. It's hard when you're the sort whose "value proposition" in the past has been "I'm the Smart One" - it makes you feel vulnerable. I also have often felt (although less so these days) that I get people to interact more smoothly with me by being able to shape-shift into something more closely resembling them - whether that involves speaking in a slightly different way, or echoing a mood, or pretending to have a relevant opinion on some topic. And while being able to shift gears to accommodate a variety of people IS a useful and good life skill when it comes to getting in the door, you ultimately form much stronger and longer-lasting bonds with people when they feel like they have something they can give to you that will be received with gratitude. I’m slowly learning that one, too. It’s hard when you’re the sort whose “value proposition” in the past has been “I’m the Smart One” - it makes you feel vulnerable.

I also have often felt (although less so these days) that I get people to interact more smoothly with me by being able to shape-shift into something more closely resembling them - whether that involves speaking in a slightly different way, or echoing a mood, or pretending to have a relevant opinion on some topic.

And while being able to shift gears to accommodate a variety of people IS a useful and good life skill when it comes to getting in the door, you ultimately form much stronger and longer-lasting bonds with people when they feel like they have something they can give to you that will be received with gratitude.

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