Suze, wow, you’re in Paris! We will be there for part of the trip, but the itinerary we’ve gotten isn’t super-detailed, and I’m not sure whether or not our hosts are assuming I’ll accompany Steve to the various store signings that he’s doing before the con. Email me once we’ve arrived? I should have more of a clue about my schedule by then.

Saint-Malo is a lovely place. Brittany is justly famous for her crepes (which aren’t like anything you’ve ever eaten here) and her seafood. Fruits de mer is mostly shellfish, including tiny, snail-like winkles you really eat with a pin and clams and oysters and crabs. It will be probably be cold and wet, kind of like Portland in winter, only with less central heating. Take layers.

Need someone to carry your luggage?

À bientôt!

I recommend buying a street guide. You can probably find one in Powell’s, or anywhere in Paris that sells books. Getting a good Paris street atlas will save you many confusing conversations with locals. Get one detailed enough that it has spiral binding, not just a fold-out map.

OFTEN CONFUSING: The first floor (“premier etage”) is what we’d call the second floor. “Rez-de-chaussée” is the ground floor. So the ground floor is often labeled R, the next floor up is 1, etc.

HUNGRY: When hungry and desperate, you can never go wrong ordering a Croque Madame or Croque Monsieur sandwich at a brasserie. It will tide you over for ages and I never had a bad one, even in tourist zones. Also good: any kind of sandwich or panini served by Greeks or Algerians and containing french fries. Crepes.

TRANSIT: The Metro is very clean and easy to navigate even if you speak no French; there are just lots of stairs in some places, so bring walkin’ shoes.

ADAPTERS: go to the Portland Travel Co. two blocks away from the studio (across from Hush Hush). They have scads and will help you pick the right one.

CAFES: Don’t just spend your time in cafes! They are nice enough, but largely predictable, and you do have to pay rent in coffee a bit more frequently than you might here, where “cafe” is code for “home office”.

Paris has so much wacky stuff that even a single English-speaking lady can easily get to and enjoy on the cheap. I totally recommend Rick Steves’ books, they are dorky but very helpful.

Near Notre Dame: Shakespeare & Co. bookstore. If you get hungry for English conversation or a good book, just wander in there and enjoy the musty smell and weird crannies with your fellow expats.

Aggggghhhh take me with you!

Similarly, every interaction starts with a greeting. I think lots of Americans are so busy mentally rehearsing their French in their heads that they just launch into what they want. Very rude! Say “Bonjour Madame” or “Bonjour Monsieur,” wait for a response, then get into the transaction.

I don’t think Parisians are as curt as their reputation paints them. When I was there, the Lebanese immigrants in particular were incredibly friendly and gracious, so I recommend trying a Lebanese bakery or restaurant if you see one!