Lunch hour fashion case study

12:00-12:10 Try on six pairs of jeans at thrift store. Feel downcast at the size of the pair that fits and is flattering, but they are a mere $6.50. Buy them.

12:10-12:20 Go to nearby trendy boutique. Try on four more pairs of jeans, none of which costs less than $70. Each, on me, is a unique muffin-top-generating low-rise nightmare. Feel more downcast. Obviously I cannot wear truly stylish jeans.

12:20-12:40 Drive home, eat lunch. Google the brand of the thrift-store jeans, since it is unknown to me. OMG! They’re made in Italy! OMG! That size is the equivalent of a smaller US size! OMG! They cost a lot of money new!

12:40-12:41 Feel sense of triumph.

12:42-12:45 Followed by self-recrimination: why should it matter what size they are? why do I care about the brand name? Am I just a hopeless pawn of fashion/capitalism/sizeism/etc.?

12:46 Realize: yes.

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  • invertedreptile
    December 29, 2005 at 9:40 am

    i feel smugness when buying expensive ass clothes at thrift stores because some other sucker paid hundreds of dollars for them.

  • barophobia07
    December 29, 2005 at 11:16 am

    This is a little random, but I read your booklist and wasn’t sure if you knew Julie Anne Peters has a new book out– it’s called “Far From Xanadu”, and I enjoyed it almost as much as I did “Empress of the World”. :]

  • cursedtruth
    December 29, 2005 at 12:15 pm

    Heh, isn’t that realization so fun though?

    Besides, you scored. ;)

  • ms_anthropy
    December 29, 2005 at 1:12 pm

    No, dear, not a HOPELESS pawn, or you wouldn’t be asking the question (joke!) Perhaps you’re just feeling triumphant at having gotten something expensive for next to nothing? 8-)

    And by the way, low-risers ARE evil. It’s not just you. They are the Jeans of Satan.

  • capn_jil
    December 29, 2005 at 3:24 pm

    dude, you’re a pawn of the MAN. the PANTS MAN.

    that’s cool

    really, it’s fuckin’ fine. we can bond drunkenly over pants failures, i totally went for the once-every-three-years PANTSADVENTURE of late.

    also i showed mom a picture of hopey and she concurred. BLEH

  • nevikmoore
    December 30, 2005 at 2:45 am

    Hear, hear. Low-risers are great if you want plumber butt all day.

    That said, I saw some VH-1 or E channel soul-sucking show that featured low-risers with built-in thong straps rising above the waistband. How efficient! Bimbos and plumbers take note!

  • ms_anthropy
    December 30, 2005 at 3:29 am

    Oh, my gawd. It’s so nice to know that overworked streetwalkers can save so much time getting dressed! (Trying very, very hard not to think of “my plumber” and “thong straps” in the same sentence…brrrr….)

  • moriath
    December 30, 2005 at 6:32 am

    I always feel smug picking up designer clothes at thrift stores. I highly value my Express via Salvation Army wardrobe.

  • anonymous
    December 31, 2005 at 4:38 am

    So much for Pattern Recognition!

  • thisisnotanlj
    January 3, 2006 at 7:51 am

    thanks! yes, that list could use some updating…

  • dirtylibrarian
    January 6, 2006 at 3:04 am

    On the news at the airport I saw a clip about how high-rise jeans are the next new trend. Yipes.