A Google game

“Sara needs to…”

relax and turn to her favorite cartoon

discover the experts in her area

be challenged, at times she is bored in school

have her teeth cleaned and probably a few extracted

change the oil in her car

take a break after all her hard work

work on blocking and keeping her concentration

learn more about the risks and rewards involved

be punished for what she did, but I hope while she’s in prison she can turn her life around

mate with a comparable alien, not human, to keep her new perfect species alive

find a way to save her virtue and her money

get some help, because that was seriously gross

…y’all play too in the comments!!

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  • quirkybird
    March 28, 2006 at 3:20 pm

    Inevitably, I get the wrong pronouns, but:

    Dylan needs to learn communication skills using a picture board (communication device) to help him talk

    Nicky might have made the teenage vampire, and Dylan needs to find him soon.

    Dylan needs to play the new game called life that’s a real fucking hard game.

    Dylan needs to be sat with his back to the door and facing away from windows.

    Dylan needs to supervise guests on his ship better and stop letting his crew invite their friends to sleep over.

    Obviously Dylan needs to grow into grandpa’s helmet and firesuit but after his fireup knows nitro is in his blood.

    Dylan needs to make a rectangular prism for his science project.

    Dylan needs to accept that there’s no going back.

  • kiplet
    March 28, 2006 at 3:21 pm

    Heh. Some other Kip already did.

  • jemale
    March 28, 2006 at 3:21 pm

    Jenn needs to…

    slap her one.

    freakin call me

    figure out what topics are in ecology.

    get over it and get a life.

    post office hours.

    stop having her head smashed against head boards.

    switch to decaf.

    get better is a healthy dose of sweet, magical caffeine.

    get her grove back.

    further her skills as an artist.

    get past her handcuff thing.

  • kiplet
    March 28, 2006 at 3:33 pm

    First, I thought you went to sleep.

    Second—what handcuff thing?

  • anonymous
    March 28, 2006 at 9:31 pm

    “Jeff needs to…

    …get online more.
    …FIX MY COCKER!!!!!!!!!!
    …not give into the tendency to overwork his mechanics.
    …know what issues you would like to see addressed in the legal column.
    …get information to Ron on the phosphorous issue for the higher blends using Ice Ban.
    …address his own feelings about his wife working in the business in order to make an untarnished decision about Steve.
    …sell 12 major appliances in one day to have enough money for his computer system.
    …fire everybody off his team because they are giving him bad advice.
    …apologize for posting a diary with a decent point but a bad delivery of said-point.

  • librarian
    March 28, 2006 at 11:11 pm

    The Jessamyn thing found this blog post which, quite recursively, had already gone through this exercise.

  • nevikmoore
    March 29, 2006 at 2:53 am

    I didn’t find much interesting, but the lead sentence from this article caught my eye:

    “Kevin Moore probably needs no introduction for most of you.”

    Indeed. If you don’t know Kevin Moore, you don’t know crap.


  • nevikmoore
    March 29, 2006 at 2:55 am

    You know, the thing with the handcuffs and the hose and the disturbingly suggestive attachment that no one has a name for, but everyone knows what to do with?

    Yeah, that thing.

  • anonymous
    March 29, 2006 at 3:30 am

    Realize her cats aren’t going to kill each other if they are unsupervised

    Have faith that just because one thing doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean something cool isn’t just around the corner

    Accept that she is not going to read all the books piling up by her bed before they are due…again.

    Stop this new and alarmingly alluring habit of procrastinating.

    Start doing her yoga again…seriously

  • jemale
    March 29, 2006 at 7:14 am

    Stop projecting, Kevin.

  • anonymous
    March 30, 2006 at 1:59 am

    I did this on MySpace and got:

    have a partial lobotomy.

    (That’s sweet!)

  • ms_anthropy
    April 14, 2006 at 4:18 pm

    I’m tired and it’s late and that’s still no excuse for how funny this seems to me right now…I can’t stop doing this. I really can’t.

    Susan needs to understand that she needs to be building up her language production.

    Susan needs opportunities to practice literate speech.

    Susan needs to continue sharing her public farts – proudly and loudly!

    Susan needs to get off her butt and do more housework.

    Susan needs all your love and money

    Susan needs to get back with Mike because Carl dont know.

    Susan needs a set of t-shirts graced with silly cliches that, nevertheless, exemplify her willingness to step off the cliff of safety

    Susan needs a lip, otherwise small things disappear forever.

    Susan needs to hear from YOU!!

    Susan needs to work on writing better songs.

    Susan needs to write “her age”. Her intelligence. Her life experience.

    Susan needs your help.

    Susan needs to

    Susan will help you with a problem or issue you are working on right now, at no charge.

    Susan needs an alias created to support her latest project and wants it done immediately.

    Susan needs to keep spam under control.

    Susan needs to be certified by the Southern Seed Certification Association.

    Susan needs to be on the list simply because she dominated the race for years.

    Susan needs a tray, six inserts, center bowl and metal spinning rack.

    Susan needs to quit injuring people.

    Susan needs to slow down to increase her quality of eye hand foot control.

    Susan needs 50 bushels of apples for her famous Apple pie.

    Susan needs to be as simple as possible for the end user.

    Susan needs to spend extra time at your location in order to save the conference money on air fare.

    Susan needs to develop a strategy for the safe enjoyment of some of the more extreme forms of pleasure.

    Susan needs to be safely stored in a human brain.

    Susan needs to get laid!

    Susan needs to be good signage, too.

    Susan needs to wear a bra.

    Susan needs your help now to prepare for the election.

    Susan needs to hook up your catheter.

    Susan needs to communicate her work experience and her sense of style.

    Susan needs to put laundry in the washing machine as soon as she gets home. from class.

    Susan needs to get working on her best shrill voice also, because the viewing public demands authenticity.

    Susan needs to resolve some Jerry Springer-sized issues with her mother.

    Susan needs to succeed in the face of and despite this madness.

    Susan needs to use 6 hours of labor to produce one bottle of root beer.

    Susan needs to take penicillin for the rest of her life.

    Susan needs to turn from Hinduism and embrace the Lord Jesus as her Savior.

    Susan needs to know the media.

    Susan needs to be developed more as a character.

    Susan needs to feed the Yorkies breath mints.

    Susan needs to make a call on her cell phone but she can’t find it.

    Susan needs to use the ladies room.

    Susan needs to feed the rabbits with goat’s milk every two hours.

    Susan needs to be fulfilled by taking on a career listening to other people complain about how bad they feel.

    Susan needs to realize that we, the American people, are on her side.