Unnecessarily elaborated “recipe” for chicken chard soup on an early fall evening while struck with ennui

1. Stare glumly into refrigerator, which contains condiments, cat food,  soy milk, and half a can of tomato paste.

2. Contemplate going out for dinner.

3. But then I’d have to go somewhere.

4. Stare glumly into the freezer. Oh hey, there’s frozen chicken.

5. Can I actually manage to defrost some chicken?

6. …

7. Yeah, I guess I can put four frozen chicken tenderloins into the microwave. I guess.

8. But is there anything remotely related to a vegetable?

9. Aside from the tomato paste.

10. Wait, didn’t my lovely neighbor friend plant chard this year?

11. Okay there is chard mere feet away outside. I will pick some and tear it into bite-sized bits.

12. Also there is an onion.

13. And a 48-ounce aseptic container of chicken broth.

14. And paprika.

15. And bay leaves.

16. And olive oil.

17. And orzo pasta.

18. Put some olive oil in soup pot.

19. Cut up onion. Cut up chicken. Saute onion til soft. Add the chicken. Sprinkle some paprika into the pot. Add the chard, bay leaves, tomato paste and chicken broth. Simmer for 20 minutes. Fish out the bay leaves. Add the orzo.

20. Wait for the orzo to be done, stirring soup listlessly every so often.

21. Ladle out soup and eat, pleased that disinclination to leave the house has resulted in an actual home-cooked meal.


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  • Elayne Riggs
    September 11, 2010 at 9:53 am

    I laughed at loud at much of this one; it’s the same kind of thing that goes through my mind a lot before cooking! Thanks.

    • Sara
      September 12, 2010 at 2:08 pm

      It is really the mode in which I do most of my cooking. Baking can be a cheerier proposition, but that’s in part because I only do it for parties and/or holidays.