Coming out, working out

It’s National Coming Out Day, and that is swell.

But where is “out” exactly?

I don’t think it’s a place you ever actually arrive.

I think coming out is like working out.

Maybe you’ve always done it. You’re a sexual identity athlete, you’ve always known, rainbow flag perpetually waving.

Maybe friends have been telling you how much better you’d feel, if only you’d just do it. You read articles about it on the Internet, and they all talk about how important it is, and how really, honestly, your life will improve when you do.

Maybe you started doing it, and you LOVED it, and you couldn’t stop yourself from talking about it all the time, and trying to get other people to do it too. And then you got hurt, and now you have to heal before you can do it again.

Maybe you were totally sure you were into lifting weights, and one day were shocked to find yourself looking up yoga poses.

Maybe you did it for a while, and now you’re tired of it. You wake up and think Seriously? I have to do this again? How long does it friggin take?

Like any metaphor, it breaks down if you strain it too far. (Like pulling a muscle! Oh wait.)

But the point is, you don’t come out just once. You do it over and over, and sometimes you feel great afterward, and sometimes you feel like you might throw up. But you keep doing it. Because it is important. And you do feel better.

Did I mention I’m queer?

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  • J L
    October 12, 2010 at 1:18 am

    And sometimes you get so bored of it, you wish you could walk around with a sign, so you no longer have to recite the lines, like a theatrical play that will never end its run, and for which nobody else would ever be able to act your role as well as you do.

    And other times, you’d like to immediately remind people of your interests, hobbies, habits… good and bad, just to ensure they realize there are probably some more interesting facets that make up your personality than just your orientation.

  • Sara
    October 12, 2010 at 7:52 am

    JL, exactly. Also like a teacher who’s always having to say “Now class, let’s review…”