Deep Cover

I wasn’t going to write anything about Orlando. So often, when something brutal and devastating happens, the last thing I want to do is post about it, and mostly I don’t. And yet as I tab back and forth, social media to my manuscript to this window I’m typing in right now, I can’t stop thinking about something a friend said the other day, in comparing the ways we navigate our jobs and lives with respect to identity: “You’re in deep cover.” My Wikipedia entry notwithstanding, if you know me in my day-to-day life, my queerness is invisible unless I talk about it, and I don’t always talk about it.

But today I can’t not talk about it. I want you to know, whoever you are reading this, that I feel gutpunched, that I sent money to the Zebra Foundation as a small but hopefully useful action, that I listened to Nia King’s We Want the Airwaves podcast and read from The Collection: Short Fiction From The Transgender Vanguard and Glitter and Grit: Queer Performance from the Heels on Wheels Femme Galaxy and As The Crow Flies because I needed to experience queer voices, and that I’m trying to work on my own book-in-progress but I can’t stop thinking about all the voices that have been silenced.

Denver Comic Con

I’ll be tabling and speaking at my first Denver Comic Con in just a few weeks, June 17-19. I’ve heard great things about this show; I’m excited to participate! Here’s my panel schedule:

How Educators and Librarians Can Collaborate to use Comics in the Classroom Friday, June 17 10:30 am 11:20 am Room 302 – Education

LGBT Comics You Should Be Reading Friday, June 17 5:15 pm 6:05 pm Room 401 – Comic Books – Mainstream

Genderbend It! In writing Saturday, June 18 11:00 am 11:50 am Room 502/503 – Literary / Authors

All in the Comics Family Saturday, June 18 1:30 pm 2:20 pm Room 607 – DCC Presents

How Comics are Focusing on Women Characters to Encourage Female Readership Saturday, June 18 2:45 pm 3:35 pm Room 303 – Education Classroom

It’s Okay to Be (Geeky and) Gay Sunday, June 19 2:00 pm 2:45 pm Lab 8bit Stage

Hope to see Denver folks there!

When you’re not at the party

This past weekend, the vast majority of posts showing up on my various social media feeds were from or about AWP. Now I’m starting to see a flurry from comics comrades about ECCC, and from library pals about PLA.

When many of your colleagues and friends are at Professionally Useful Gatherings (let’s call them PUGs) and you’re not, it’s easy to feel like you’re Seriously Missing Out.

pug photo by Christopher Michel

by Christopher Michel via Creative Commons

Even the complaints about PUGs can seem enviable. Your PUG-attending pals have bags under their eyes from being out so late! They’ve lost their voices from talking to so many people! They’ve wrenched their backs from carrying all the amazing books & swag!

When you’re wishing you were where all the Cool Kids (of whatever variety is appropriate for your endeavors) seem to be, here are three things you can do besides endlessly scrolling and feeling sorry for yourself:

1. Look up information about next year’s event. Could you propose one or more sessions? How much would travel & lodging cost? Have you got friends in the area you could stay with? Are exhibitor booths/tables available and can you afford one? If you’ll be selling your work, how much would you need to make to break even? If you think it would truly benefit your career and/or morale to participate in the event, start planning how you can get there in the future.

By Sam Lavy via Creative Commons

By Sam Lavy via Creative Commons

2. Make plans with a local friend. If it’s nice out, you can go for a walk.

Photo of two pugs in sweaters by a river

By e_haya via Creative Commons

3. Do the work. Whatever the thing is that the PUG you’re coveting is about, get off the Internet and do that thing; it’ll get your mind off wishing you were somewhere you’re not, and you’ll have more experience by the time the next PUG comes around.

By Isabella Li via WallFocus.com

By Isabella Li via WallFocus.com

 

Twist Fate Challenge

I’m looking forward to being one of the editors for the Twist Fate Challenge! Let me quote from the press release:

Two popular apps that support young artists and writers are calling on teens to create works, twisting the fate of heroes and villains. “Twist Fate,” an art and writing challenge for 13 to 17 year olds, is being hosted by DeviantArt, the world’s largest community for visual art, and by Wattpad, the world’s largest community of readers and writers.

“Wattpad and DeviantArt are home to some of the most active and inspiring creative youth communities on the net. They offer a rich and motivating context for young people to connect, learn, and get feedback from others who share their interests and passions,” said Mimi Ito, co-founder of the Connected Learning Alliance and UC Irvine cultural anthropologist who specializes in learning. “This challenge is an opportunity for more educators and youth to tap into this creative energy and experience how social online platforms can fuel learning and engagement in the arts.”

Young people are invited to submit entries on the website of either DeviantArt or Wattpad from March 6 through April 6. The best stories, comic panels, illustrations or other creations will be chosen as finalists that will be reviewed by a panel of editors who will decide which ones to publish in a book. And, the book will be made available to the public in libraries across the country.

The editors are: writers Sara Ryan (author of “Bad Houses,” “The Rules for Hearts” and “Empress of the World”) and Lauren Kate Morphew (author of “Fallen,” Torment,” “Passion,” “Rapture,” “Fallen in Love” and “The Betrayal of Natalie Hargrove”), Disney/Pixar artist and animator Brian Kesinger and Antero Garcia, assistant professor of English at Colorado State University.

I’m excited to see what heroes and villains the writers & artists choose, and what forms the entries will take!

If you or someone you know wants to enter, the challenge is open from March 6 – April 6, and you can submit via either WattPad or DeviantArt.

5 things I recently learned that might be obvious to you but weren’t to me.

  1. If you’re attempting to have more precisely groomed/styled eyebrows, getting a magnifying mirror does not mean you’re “cheating.” Neither does using brow gel, the existence of which I was unaware until like a month ago.
  2. If you find it difficult to cram a change of clothes plus the giant stompy boots you want to wear afterward into your gym bag, wear the boots to the gym and pack your gym shoes.
  3. If you’re out of cinnamon, five spice makes a decent substitute. (In part because cinnamon is one of the five.)
  4. Baked oatmeal is the Platonic ideal of oatmeal. I just made some with chopped pecans, apricots & cranberries.
  5. Meta: when you’re learning something new and you get super frustrated, it’s useful to remember that frustration the next time you’re teaching something you find easy/intuitive, but perhaps is exactly that frustrating to your student(s).

The worst question you can ask a writer.

 

The worst question to ask a writer is not: “Where do you get your ideas?”

This is a clichéd question, yes. But precisely because it’s a cliché, we probably have a stock response. Even if we don’t, it’s fairly easy to come up with some kind of answer, whether flip or serious, about where our ideas come from. (“Overheard conversations, other books, music, art, strange objects seen on the street, the Internet.”)

The worst question to ask a writer is not: “How much money do you make?”

This is mostly an annoying question. If we’re not inclined to share our yearly profit-and-loss statements with the questioner, we can deflect it gracefully and with humor, e.g. “Not enough to quit my day job!” or “Wealth beyond the dreams of avarice.” Or, if we’re feeling feisty, with “How much money do you make?” But “How much money do you make?” is fundamentally an answerable question.

The worst question to ask a writer is not: “What are you working on?”

This can be a tricky question. We don’t always want to reveal too much about projects that don’t yet feel fully formed. We might have signed nondisclosure agreements. (Although if we have, we can give a very fancy, high-status-sounding answer: a slight smile, a shrug, and the acronym “NDA.”) We might worry that if we describe the project, the questioner won’t respond in a way that feels positive and we’ll start to doubt ourselves. But “What are you working on?” is also absolutely an answerable question.

The worst question to ask a writer is: “Are you still writing?”

It immediately gives the impression that the questioner thinks we might not be, that writing was a passing fancy for us, that perhaps we’ve decided instead to work on baking a perfect Victoria sponge, or squatting three hundred, or learning calligraphy — all of which, of course, are estimable and worthy activities, no shade to anyone engaging in any or all of the above.

But “Are you still writing?” is almost a “Have you stopped beating your wife?” question. It puts us immediately on the defensive. We could answer by listing off our most recent and forthcoming publications. But we might worry that we’ll come off sounding like we’re bragging, or that our most recent publications were too long ago, our forthcoming too far in the future, or that regardless, they somehow wouldn’t count in the eyes of the questioner (wrong genre, wrong audience, inadequate distribution, etc.) There’s also the point that the fact that the questioner is asking implies that they aren’t aware of said publications, which means that we haven’t done a good enough job getting the word out about them.

If we don’t have recent or upcoming publications, “Are you still writing?” adds insult to injury. We’re almost certainly already beating ourselves up about it, and now we feel like the questioner may actually be asking “You mean you haven’t given up the ridiculous idea that you’re a writer?”

We could answer by saying what we’re working on, but that’s not what the questioner asked. A simple “Yes!” feels too terse. We’d like to think the questioner means well, but again, if they are, why would they ask about our writing in a way that casts doubt on whether or not it’s still happening?

And if you’re reading this and thinking, “Geez, what’s the big deal? It’s a totally innocent question. Stop being so sensitive,” I might venture to wonder whether you’ve had many interactions with writers.

2016 is off to a good start.

I saw the excellent Alien She exhibit, a look at the impact & influence of Riot Grrrl, not once but twice. The first time my friend and I obeyed the sign that said no photography. When I came back with another friend, the person who took our coats & my backpack said “Don’t forget your cameras!” Hence the photos below.

My favorite part was discovering Allyson Mitchell‘s work. These first several images are from “Recommended Reading,” hand-drawn wallpaper of queer & feminist texts (and the occasional object, e.g. Hothead Paisan coffee mug), many familiar, several of which are on my own bookshelves. I think these drawings are also part of “A Girl’s Journey to the Well of Forbidden Knowledge.” Mitchell describes them on her website: “These laborious renderings pay homage not only to the Lesbian Herstory Archives, but to all feminist presses, bookstores and libraries that have worked valiantly to advocate for the significance of women’s stories, histories and acts of resistance, often in the face of sexism, homophobia and financial constraints.”

I’m fairly certain that commodification is not the point but am compelled to say that I would totally buy this as actual wallpaper.

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The exhibit also featured some of Mitchell’s Ladies Sasquatch and their small pink companions.

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It’s only up until January 9th, so if you’re in Portland I recommend you get to it before it closes. I also quite liked the Big Miss Movieola/Joanie 4 Jackie videos and zines in the exhibit, though I simultaneously felt irritated at my past self for not knowing about the project while it was in its heyday. (I’ve never wanted to make movies, but the idea of getting video chainletters from women filmmakers sounds excellent.)

Other highlights of the year so far:

Finding an excellently warm and water repellent Irish coat at Rerun for twenty dollars, which became forty-four cents with my consignment credit…

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…right before the snow.

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I got a special named after me at Handsome Pizza and I can report that it is extremely delicious:

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And last but certainly not least I’ve been making my “Session Target” wordcount progress bar turn green in Scrivener. More like this, 2016.

 

 

Not really a year-end post

I didn’t feel like doing a regular end-of-year post, so instead, a few scattershot comments, punctuated by photos.

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Thought a lot about communities this year. How to make spaces for people to connect, how to both contribute and listen, how to balance time between the people I mostly interact with via screen with the ones I see face-to-face. How to make the most out of the occasions when I get to see People From Inside the Computer in real life.

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Also thought a lot about attention and to what and whom I was giving it. A slogan I heard on one of the many podcasts to which I have been listening keeps repeating in my head: “pay attention to your attention;” e.g.: the things you spend time pondering, obsessing, & ideally being delighted and enthusiastic about. Note that this is very different from “spend more time being anxious about your recurring anxieties”!

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Speaking of enthusiasms, I don’t think I’ve mentioned here yet that I wrote an appreciation of T.H. White’s The Sword in the Stone for Hilobrow.

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One of the books I really enjoyed this year was Boel Westin’s biography of Tove Jansson: Life, Art, Words. Always, it’s books that illuminate the difficulties as well as the satisfactions of doing creative work that I most appreciate.

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Some thoughts on QUILTBAG YA

Tess Sharpe was talking about the challenges she’s faced publishing queer YA. I have a compelling interest in the topic, so I Storified her tweets (go read them, I’ll wait). They struck me also because in some ways, her experience differs quite a bit from mine.

I’m hugely fortunate: I’ve never had to explain or justify queer content to agents or editors. Nor have I been asked to tone anything down or make anyone straight, and I’ve been at this for a while. That said, I’m certainly not a book-a-year author, and my tendency to write less explicitly than some readers might want has perhaps worked in my favor.

But despite my overall positive experiences, I absolutely agree there are challenges.

If you work with supportive agents and editors, you may still struggle with the publicity, marketing, and overall positioning of your work. Or maybe you’re happy with your relationship with your publisher, but find it hard to book the school visits and writing workshops that provide an income stream for many YA authors. (You may have noticed that I have not quit my day job.) I’d love to see more authors getting paid honoraria & travel to visit schools via Lambda Literary’s LGBT Writers in the Schools or similar programs.

Once your work is out there, I do think ebooks are changing some aspects of the game. If a reader is on their phone or other device, nobody can easily see what they’re reading. So if that reader doesn’t feel safe carrying a physical book with queer content, they can get an ebook or downloadable audiobook — both of which are also getting easier to check out from libraries — and no one has to know unless the reader wants to tell them. Even if a queer title vanishes quickly from bookstore shelves, it can also have a longer life in electronic form. (However, the questions of whether readers can easily discover the titles and who has access to the devices to read them on are also important to consider.)

In terms of reader desire for more queer YA, I’m very aware that at this point we have at least a couple generations of readers who’ve grown up with fanfic and self-publishing, both of which can cater to what readers want with a high degree of specificity, including but certainly not limited to queer content. If readers have had numerous opportunities to read (or write!) about their ideal POC genderfluid ace hero’s adventures, why would they want anything less from ‘mainstream’ publishing?

I don’t have any grand conclusions, except that I think it’s always important to share stories: it allows us to compare notes and strategize about how to advocate for ourselves, each other, and marginalized voices more generally.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

File under: Future, living in the

I’d been in a meeting at a library, and at first I thought I must have left my phone on the table where we’d been talking.

Then I frantically dumped everything out of my bag, because more than once I’ve been convinced I lost it, only to discover the phone lurking coyly in my bag’s depths.

Checked under the table. Nope.

Maybe it fell out of my coat pocket between the building and my car?

Had I even had it with me when I left the house? But I knew I had, I’d been listening to a podcast.

Panicked.

Retraced all my steps again.

Nothing. Sinking sick feeling.

Then I heard: someone had just called the library, asking for me by name. They had my phone.

“How did you figure out whose phone it was?”

They asked Siri.

Now, I’ve always been deeply suspicious of Siri, and only ever activated it (or do I mean contacted her?) by mistake. At which point I would always get flustered, as though I’d just discovered that the room I was in was bugged, and deactivate it (dismiss her?) as quickly as possible.

But it turns out, if you happen to find an iPhone and you want to know who it belongs to, you can say “Siri, whose phone is this?” — even if the phone is locked — and if that person has associated their name with their phone, Siri will tell you.

(Yes yes, I’m certain this could be exploited for nefarious purposes, I’m sure there are extremely good reasons for naming your phone something utterly random and inexplicable and entirely unrelated to your name. But in this case I’m very glad I did not do that.)

“And then how did you know to call the library?”

Once they had my name they found this very website, or possibly my Twitter account, both of which mention that I’m a librarian as well as an author. They found the phone via running over it with their bike. So yes, it fell out of my coat pocket between the building and my car, and yes, I’m glad I have a very sturdy case.

The phone was near the library, so they put two and two together.

For which I am super super grateful. I did not get my rescuer’s name, but if you’re reading this, thank you again, you are a hero.